Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
