You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
