I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
