I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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