we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
