hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
