hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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