honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
