my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
