my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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