come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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