He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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