I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize