My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
