guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
