if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
