no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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