I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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