meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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