Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
