i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
