I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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