Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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