Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
