Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize