so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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