I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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