It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
