Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize