then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
