I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
