I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
