You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
