we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize