Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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