And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I didn't notice because vodka
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
