Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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