he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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