Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
