I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You ate ashes out of my bong
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
