You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
