I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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