your thong is hanging out like whoa
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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