Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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