the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
