Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
