Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
