he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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