We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
