She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
