My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
