your parents love me but you hate me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
