Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
