just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
