Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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