"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
MIDGETS
????
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
