So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
