I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
