He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize