Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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