I am in a vortex of obligation.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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