he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
