I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
