And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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